The Jack Special, The Stephen Pounder & the Conor Burger

I went in to visit Tony today, the man who sells onion rings and chips. I thought me and Tony’s relationship was strained somewhat as I once tried to record a documentary about the Jack Special, a chicken-bacon-taco-garlic-cheese-chips dish he invented in an attempt to get a boy named Jack to ‘make nice boy’ in the shop. I think he thought I was making fun of his unorthodox command of English, which I was only very slightly doing.

Well, it turns out there’s a new menu! And with it comes The Stephen Pounder! Tony got a worried look in his eyes when I asked about it, and insisted on checking my hands for recording equipment. The Stephen Pounder is a quadruple quarter pounder, named after a guy called Stephen who used to buy one every night. Tony tells me since he put it on the board he sells ten to fifteen a week.

He asked me what my name is, and said he might name a burger after me some day. I jokingly suggested an onion ring in a bun, as I rarely get anything there other than onion rings, chips, and the occasional bouncy ball. Much to my surprise, Tony tells me there are some little girls who come in for onion rings in a bun on a weekly basis! So maybe there’s hope for a Conor Burger yet.

That said, I’m not sure I can handle the pressure. Tony tells me with much disappointment that Stephen now only comes in to get a Stephen Pounder once every six months or so, and as such on the next run of menus it will be called The Big Pounder. I do not want to cross Tony.